Lost in the woods as a small child, Mark was raised by wolves.  After many years of intensive therapy, the wolves have finally recovered.

Mark has never been abducted by aliens.  But if he had been, he would lie about it.  Come to think of it, how do you know that Mark isn't an alien?  And why does he keep talking about himself in the third person?

Two atoms were walking down the street.  Suddenly, one atom turns to the other and says, "Hey, someone stole one of my electrons!" 

To which the second atom responds, "Are you sure?"

The first atom replies, "Yes, I'm positive!"

Get it?  "I'm positive!"?  See, in a process called ionization, when two dissimilar materials are... oh, never mind.  I recognize that glassy-eyed stare from when I try to explain something to my kids.

Alien or not, Mark tries to be like that ionized atom - positive!  And he's positive that if you click here, you will find something you like.

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